jakethegoblin
"just to be sure I understand: I should not have the onyx+ connected to the haptics connect app on my iPhone at all?"
If you are only using Option 2 (not option 3) then yes, do not have your Onyx+ paired anywhere outside of the Haptics Connect app, and compeltely forget/unpair it if you did
Then follow the steps again for Option 2
You are likely experiencing a bug with Haptics connect app though, hopefully devs will push an update this coming week to resolve many possible issues like yours