I get where you're coming from. For me, in both porn and video games "immersion" seems to be the thing that I most enjoy. I think non-POV is just a complete waste of VR for porn, that's just my opinion, but I've not had the problem of at least suspending disbelief that the torso/dick are "mine." I'm also someone who does not like other men/dicks in the scene, whereas some dudes seem to really REALLY like that. That's their thing. Whatever gets you off.
All I'm saying is don't doubt what you like. The cool thing about VR is you have some control of the perspective so you can pan up beyond the male torso and just enjoy watching the woman's performance.
Also like someone else said, you might like the passthrough vids where its just a dick and the female talent, or there are the "Tommy Torsos" where it's just a sextoy and the woman. I get how you feel, though not quite as much as you do it seems. Not sure if SLR has pure "virtual sex" videos where it is only the female star pretending the sex scene without any man or toy...I've seen that in 2D POV vids but not VR content so far.