My wife has been pretty game for most things -- IRL threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, even -- as long as we are together.
And she never gives me a hard time about watching VR Porn, even though sometimes I'm locked up in my home office for three or four hours.
And yet -- having some stranger control the sex toy feels too much like cheating to me. I don't think my wife would like it unless she was involved somehow -- and I'm not sure how to make VR a couples thing.
So, I probably wouldn't try it.